


I'll Always Be Here

by Iamthetwickster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2171946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamthetwickster/pseuds/Iamthetwickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shortish fic set after Gabriel's death where the reader is trying to come to grips with losing her only friend</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. HeartBroken

It had been around 3 months since your discovery of Gabriel's death. It had been the hunter brothers, Sam and Dean who had given you the news, over the phone as per usual. You were in too much shock to reply to Dean over the phone, you simply had ended up hanging up on him. The news had hit you hard, Gabriel had been your one true closest friend for the past 2 years. He'd visit you every now and then and you would talk and spend time together, laughing, joking, simply having fun. And to think that he was suddenly gone and you were never going to see him again had made you feel like somebody had reached into your chest and ripped out your heart, holding it up in front of you, beating . . . . . until it stopped. It was like when you trip over an object and you had begun to feel sick and empty inside. You can only understand it if you've ever lost somebody truly close to you.

For about 8 nights you had cried yourself to sleep, constantly. It wasn't as if you could turn to anybody for help either, you were and had always been a loner. You had no friends in the country, you were unemployed. At a time like that you would normally pray to Gabriel and he would be there with a gust of wind to help you. It's funny how when somebody mentions they are heartbroken and they simply use and abuse that phrase as if it means nothing to them. You yourself had done the very same on countless occasions, but after the loss of your only friend you discovered what the words heart and broken truly meant. And it was agonizing.

3 months had past and you had realised just how in love with the archangel you _had been_ and _still were_ , you were full of regret. Even if he didn't feel anything toward you you wished you would have said / _something_ to him. But you couldn't now. It was too late. You were curled up amongst your pillows and blankets, as comfortable as you could make yourself at a time of grievance. You lay there until you fell into a deep, heavy slumber before you felt a draft in the room and the mattress beneath you started to move slightly as if there was another person in your bed. You were too afraid to open your eyes and quite frankly you didn't care if any danger came to you, you'd be happy to be off'ed. After a few seconds you felt a strand of your hair being pushed behind your ear and your heart began to beat faster, like a mallet against a piece of fabric.

You began to feel lighter as the covers rose from you slightly and then fell back down again. Then something, or some one, pulled you closer making you swallow hard, you were petrified of what was about to happen to you until a familiar hand stroked your head and you felt a familiar breath against your forehead. Opening your eyes as they pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead your shoulders dropped and your heart slowed, you felt safe again. This was a feeling you had not felt for months and months on end. You were almost slapped in the face by it's overwhelming feel.

Gabriel looked at you, his head resting on the same pillow as you had yours on. He simply gave you an utterly warm, heart felt smile which you wish you could have returned if you weren't slightly confused by the fact that a dead archangel was in your bed, holding you up to his chest.

That warm smile made your heart a flutter, it warmed the entire room. Gabriel had always been a ray of sunshine on a winter's day to you.

“You're dead.” Your voice broke off as your eyes filled once more, that cold, sickly feeling of loss returning to your heart. Gabriel shook his head and he pulled you tighter into his warm embrace, nuzzling you and keeping his face so close to yours. “ _You're dead!_ ” You repeat in a subtle like sob. His lips brushed against your cheek as he kissed you again.

“_______, I'm so sorry.....” Gabriel spoke, his voice was quiet, hoarse. He too was trying to keep his cool. In hearing his voice again after all this time and all of this heart ache you broke down in his arms, you just couldn't gather yourself and stop, before you knew it you were sobbing into his chest and he was resting his chin atop your head, whispering quiet “Sh”'s and “It's okay”'s into your ear.

“I'm here, _____” He whispered, closing his eyes. “I'll always be here”. You knew how you had wanted to tell him how you loved him, you knew you'd regret it if you didn't. So you took your chances and decided it was now and never and you spoke.

“Gabriel, I love you.” You cried out before gasping at the loud sound of a lorry speeding past your apartment window, you opened your eyes to see G- nobody. You were alone.... You had only dreamed Gabriel was there with you, holding you so close to where you needed and so badly wanted to be. Just a dream, just a god damn dream. Sometimes you really felt as if God was the sadistic one, not the devil.


	2. I Have To Do This

It had been two nights since you had dreamed of seeing Gabriel one last time. You remember everything so clearly. The way his hands felt, grasping you close to his warm, beating heart as you immeasurably sobbed for him. You remembered those eyes of his, their heat and gold temperature. Like two sunsets inside a man's skull. That warm, great smile of his. Cast upon his face as if he were a precious painting. And of course you could remember so clearly, how it felt when the archangels lips pressed against your skin in a form of comfort, which had sent your heart a flutter.

For a dream it all felt so real. Too real. So much it made you feel oh so much worse, as it had felt like he was beside you in real life.

1:00 am. You put down your book and switched off the light, turning to your side and pulling the covers up over your shoulders, ready to rest and put away your real life for another night. Staring at the empty side of your bed you sighed, stretching out your arm and gliding your hand across the mattress. Another sigh and you closed your eyes aggressively. It had taken you an hour but you finally fell asleep.

Steam rose from the kettle as it whistled it's finished job of boiling your water. Picking up the kettle from it's stand you poured it into your cup which already had coffee and sugar in it, then you placed it back and stirred your drink slowly with a tea spoon. Picking it up you walked out of the kitchen, when you heard a voice.

“I hope you're planning on making me one, it's bad manners not to ask a guest if they'd like a drink”

The cup fell onto the laminated flooring, smashing with the coffee flying everywhere. The only noise you had made was a loud gasp/scream from the surprise of the sudden voice in your lonely house.

Your face covered, all you heard was the snap of the voice's fingers and then the sound of quick footsteps before you felt yourself tugged toward the voice. Of course you knew the voice. Of course you did. It was the only voice you cared about, but you couldn't accept who it was. You just couldn't. You'd gone through so much heart ache over the last months, that last dream included. You simply didn't need it. You kept your eyes closed, ignoring and rejecting any possible sight of the one you needed so badly. You couldn't bare the disappointment any more. Wake up, you thought to yourself. _Wake up, now._ But you couldn't, you were too absorbed into the familiar smell and embrace.

“I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Are you alright? Are you hurt?” The archangel was looking all over your face for some kind of answer but you wouldn't speak. You just stood with your eyes closed. “_____” You opened your eyes to look at the floor as you heard him speak your name. He repeated your name again, but as a question before he gingerly lifted your chin with his thumb and looked into your eyes. Gabriel glanced down at your lips then back to your eyes, you furrowed your brows at this then shook your head.

The archangel gently grabbed your wrist and lifted your hand, resting his lips on your thumb. You felt the pain of the burn leave as he kissed your thumb, admittedly shocked by the fact he knew you were lying.

“I can read minds if I want to, sweet heart.” Blushing, you looked down and he chuckled at you. That dark chuckle made your blush _worse._ He stroked your hair lightly, smiling at you.

“What's it matter if you can read minds when you're dead?” You spoke, your tone was cold and sharp, it hurt yourself as much as it would probably hurt 'Gabriel'. Just then you were pulled into a proper embrace, his arms wrapped around you and his head on your shoulder, rubbing circles on your back. 

“I know, baby girl. I know...” Gabriel replied to you with a sigh. 

“You know? How can you? You're just a dream. “ 

“Even those in dreams can feel, _____. Some may even remember things.” You instantly remembered telling him you loved him two nights ago and you immediately turned scarlet and attempted to get away, embarrassed of any form of confrontation. You would have gotten away if Gabriel hadn't held you tighter and closer to his chest, damn him. “It's okay, ______. Stay...Please stay.” You could feel his breath against your neck as he whispered those last two words. You grumbled in defeat but succumb to him anyway. 

“So is this it now?” You asked.

“Hmm?”

“Is this it? I can only ever see you when I'm asleep now? Never again in my real life, always here, only here. Where you never change, it's always the same you, the first you I met. Why did you leave?! How could you leave me?!” You began screaming at him but he took it, he never once retaliated, he never fought back, he let you shout at him.

“Sweet heart. I'm sorry. I can't- I have to do this to protect you.....There isn't another way.” He was still holding you close to him, trying to calm you. 

“Do what? You can't do anything if you're dead. There's no point....I was fine, you know. After 3 months I was doing okay....I was starting to look at the day in a clearer way but then _this. You do this to me. Every night. And it's not fair._ ” Once again you were sobbing into the once there archangel's chest. 

“I'm so sorry, my darling. I have to do this....I have to-” 

“Do what, Gabriel? What?!” You shouted the last word and it bounced around the room as an echo. You had found yourself back in your bed, alone. You through a pillow across the room, letting out a screech that could make the Celtic look weak. 


	3. Roses

You rose from your bed, frustrated again about another dream. As if it wasn't enough losing the love of your life, you were being taunted and teased with dreams of him holding you close now, which is something you knew in your heart he wouldn't really do. You were best friends and nothing more, well, technically you weren't anything to each other any more.

You made your way from your bedroom after getting dressed into some lazy 'im an unemployed person' clothes and into the kitchen to make a hot drink to relax you a little and start you probably boring day. Through the halls and into the kitchen, you walked past the fresh vase of red roses and filled up the kettle with water, allowing it to boil whilst you prepared the other half of your drink. You were that tired the roses blended in with everything else in your home and you took no notice of them for a while until you took a first sip of your morning drink.

Your eyes shot up at the kitchen table and eyed up the red roses that had definitely never been there before...of course after being friends with a few hunters you had seen some strange things in your life time, but the fact that your favourite flowers were on your kitchen table without you having any idea how they got there proved the strangest. You placed your mug down and walked up to the kitchen table, outstretching your arm and gliding your index finger along one of the roses petals, they were real and the smell of them seemed to make its way through the kitchen like an incense stick would.

After a few mouthed profanities you picked up your mug and went into the living room, shaking your head and disregarding the roses for now.....but you left them there none the less, I mean who throws away mysteriously appearing flowers? Exactly, nobody. Your mug placed on the coffee table along with your feet and your book in hand you were about to read your way through the morning when you heard a light flutter beside you and the sofa dented in slightly.

“Did you get my gift?” Your heart was beating so fast it sounded as loud as hailstone on a window pane. “Sorry.... Didn't mean to frighten you.” You sighed and put the book down.

“Of course.” You spoke quietly, disappointed.

“Of...course?” Gabriel asked, confused.

“I'm such an idiot....I'm dreaming again. Of course I am....it only makes sense with the random flowers and then you appearing.” You sighed and put your head in your hands.

“Ah you did get my gift! I have no idea what you're talking about though, _____” The archangel shuffled closer to you and wrapped one arm around your shoulders, using his other hand to rub you leg gently to try and make you feel better.

“So.....Gabriel. What were you going to say before?”

“Huh?”The winged man furrowed his brows at you. “What?”

“You know.... you said you have to do something. I don't know you didn't finish your sentence.....”

“______, I don't have a clue what you're saying to me.” He squeezed your shoulders tightly, pulling you uncomfortably closer to him, making you blush.

“.....But....you said you remember?”

“......What?”

“Last night! You said even those in dreams can remember things! Why don't you remember?!” You groaned loudly and threw your head into your arms which rested over your knees. Gabriel didn't move away from you, he just carried on getting closer and began to rub your back gently.

“______, to be honest I'm a little worried about you.....you seem a little delusional. And....you know the fact that you've not seen me in 6 months and yet you aren't surprised I'm with you is making me more nervous.” He stroked your hair gently.

“I'm sick of this, I just wanna wake up now....” You began to whimper lightly into your knees. “Please, just wake me up.........let me wake up.....” Your whimpers became louder and louder until turning to sobs, at which point Gabriel grabbed you gently and lifted you onto his lap, cradling you in his arms.

“I'm afraid I can't do that, angel face.” He rocked you lightly, humming softly.

“Yes you can, you're a friggin' archangel you can do anything.” you grasped onto his shirt slightly.

“Alright then..... tell me how to wake somebody up when they aren't sleeping....hm?” You sobbed out again.

“ _It's just a dream, it's just a dream.....”_ You closed your eyes, hoping it would wake you up some how but nothing was happening. Why weren't you waking up? This is how you always woke up, this is how the dreams always ended. You would be cradled into Gabriel's arms, sobbing your heart out and then you would wake up. But this time you weren't. 

“Shhhh” Gabriel cooed into your ear, rocking you still. 

_“Baby mine, don't you cry_  
Baby mine, dry your eyes  
Rest your head close to my heart  
Never to part, baby of mine”

Gabriel had managed to calm you down a little to the extent you were only whimpering now, he continued to hum the same tune to his previous lullaby to you as you became quieter and quieter.

After about 10 minutes you still hadn't woken up and Gabriel was still there. He cleared his throat.

“_____.” You closed your eyes at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue. “As I understand it......you've been having dreams of me....is that right?” He was rubbing your back in circles. You nodded.

“Hm. But...why? I never thought I meant much to you.” His voice was quiet and soothing. You sighed, burying your face into his neck.

“Gabriel for God's sake, I'm in love with you.” It felt good to say that and have him finally hear it. To finally have him not disappear before you could get it off your chest. You were sure you would probably regret it.....but you had to say it. You were shaking in his arms, expecting him to let you go any second now but he didn't, he pulled you even closer to his chest and you felt suddenly very warm and contained with Gabriel.

“Olani oai amiran od ol g-chis ge in” You looked up at Gabriel confused.

“.....Was that Enochian?” Gabriel nodded with a heart felt smile. “What....what was it?”

“I am yours and you are mine.” Gabriel grinned down at you.

“......This is definitely a dream.” You sighed and rested your head on his chest.

“Pinch me then.” Gabriel chuckled lightly as he rocked you gently until you fell into a light, pleasant sleep.

 


	4. You were his and he was Yours

You woke up and it was still light, you were alone on the sofa. _It was a dream._ You sighed shakily and wandered into the kitchen with your cold drink from this morning, your breath hitched and the mug fell from your grip but before it could hit the floor it vanished and you stared at Gabriel who was stood by the hob. The thick smell of chocolate melting sailed through the air as you stood in the doorway, staring at the archangel.

“Gabri-” You were cut off by the archangels lips suddenly pressed up against your own in a passionate, long needed kiss. It took you a few moments to realise what was happening before you placed your arms around his neck and kissed him back deeply, his arms slid around your waist and pulled you close for a few moments before he parted his lips from yours, with a huge smile on his face. 

“Shhh. I told you, you weren't dreaming. I'm real. It's me....I swear down on this beloved planet, on my six wings, on you and-” He paused and sniffed the air. “And on my chocolate sauce that's burning!” He leapt from you and back to the hob to sort out his melted chocolate, switching it off and moving the pan to the side. 

You couldn't help the laugh that left you. God, it'd been so long since you'd laughed that loud or that hard. In fact, it'd only ever been around Gabriel that you had laughed like that. He smiled at you, leaning against the kitchen counter. 

“I am sorry. I should have told you what I was going to do before I ended up- you know. I should have come back as soon as I was back too but- I had trouble with a winged transformer and you know- Satan.” He chuckled again, smiling none stop. 

“Why do you keep smiling at me?” You were a little uncomfortable with, well everything really. It was all very confusing. 

“You're beautiful.” You turned redder than the roses that were still at your table, much to the archangels amusement. He was still smiling at you. “And you know......the fact that you're in love with me has made me very, _very_ happy.” He prowled closer to you and you backed further and further away from him, smiling nervously.

“Gabriel what are you doing....?” You laughed nervously, he didn't reply. He just smirked and got closer and closer before the back of your knees hit the stairs and you had to stop. 

“...Gabe.......what are you doing...?” About 3 seconds after those words left your mouth, Gabriel had you pinned to your bed upstairs and was devouring your neck with kisses. 

Needless to say you were both going to be busy for the rest of the day, the two of you had a  _lot_ of catching up to do, which meant lots of kissing and giggling and soppy lovey dovey sentences. Not that that was any trouble to you at all. After all. You were his and he was Yours. 

 


End file.
